The Cave



The Cave
Jake Kempa
A cave as I had imagined it.
A cave as I had imagined it.
A mountain goat (Ronald).
A mountain goat (Ronald).

Ronald, a confident mountain goat, stared over the wreckage of the once grand house. Splinters of wood and debris were scattered all around the house. Smoke was spiraling up from the southern part of the house which once housed the kitchen. He heard footsteps behind him. "Come on Ron. We have work to do." Said Robert, a great bull moose.

Ron was proud of the animals defeating the evil rancher, Harrold. So far the animals had been celebrating their victory, but they all knew that they had to get organized to survive. They had moved into some caves they had found at the edge of the property, and so far they had proven very useful to the animals as a base camp. When Ron and Robert arrived back at base camp, the animals were looking nervous. The animals had all agreed they wanted some for of democracy. The animals all had made it clear that they wanted Ronald to be their leader as he was intelligent and very tough. The problem was that the owls seemed to be assuming they would be the leaders. Granted, they had helped organize the great rebellion and overthrow of Harrold, but they had never actually done any fighting. The animals wanted a real fighter to be their president."Fellow forest dwellers, gather around this clearing," declared Winthrop, one of the owls. The clearing in front of the entrance of the cave had been designated for the meetings and gatherings. After about 10 minutes all the animals had settled in. The prairie dogs (Meriwether, Albus, and Leonard) had made a huddle off to the side. Though they were considered fairly intelligent, they lacked common sense. However, they were good-natured and handy in a fight as they were quick and nimble. Robert settled next to Max, a great grizzly bear. They never said much, but they were obviously friends. May and Geoffrey bedded down along with each other next to Robert. Even though the deer were among the bigger animals, they enjoyed the protection of a moose. Ronald settled down next to the deer and together the animals formed a semi circle around the owls."Fellow forest dwellers, we have all fought valiantly to overthrow that retched rancher" began Winthrop,"but it is time for us to become self sufficient. We know that a democracy has proven the best form of government in the past, so tonight at dusk, we will hold a vote to select the leader and three congress members. Who has any nominees?"
After an hour of debating, the nominees for president were Ronald, Winthrop, and Max. The nominees for congress were Albus, Leonard, Donald (the other owl), Robert, and May."Tonight, you will all cast your vote by dropping an apple in the designated bucket for the nominee you want. Only one person will go at time so the votes can remain anonymous. Everyone, into the cave. Let the voting begin."
In the morning, every one gathered to hear the results. After careful counting, Winthrop read out the results which was suspicious as it was noted that Winthrop had spent a long time voting the previous night."The Congress members will be: Leonard, Donald, and Robert. And your new president will be.... me." A shocked silence filled the animals. What could this mean? The previous night they had all discussed that they had voted for Ronald."Recount...I demand a recount." said Max slowly."I am sorry, brothers, but I have counted and recounted 3 times. These results are accurate. As my first act as president, I elect Donald the lead congress member. Things will never be the same."As it turned out, Winthrop would have many new "acts" as the leader. Soon, he had the animals all working in shifts so they would have little time to talk. There were 6 shifts in the morning and 6 shifts at night and each shift was 2 hours. The jobs were anything from gather food, to traveling and mapping the extensive cave system. There were no discriminations either, which Winthrop took pride in. He said they were all equal, but in this way, he soon wore down the animals. Even with the little strength the prairie dogs had, they had to take their turn carrying plants and nuts. And even with the raw power of Robert, he still had to take his turn organizing the camp. And even with the bad night vision of Ronald, he still had to take his turn mapping out the caves. But it would be one winter evening when most of the animals were in the warm caves exploring that the cry came out. May came out screaming,"They're gone! They're gone!"Winthrop, in a "merciful" spirit, had allowed the animals to go in groups of two to explore the caves. Many animals had complained they had heard something scurrying down deep in the cave, but Winthrop would have none of this. He said it was simply a draft coming from a whole some where within the cave."Who?" Robert said as him and Meriwether were the first to get back."Geoffey and Ronald and Max! We (Max and I) had been traveling with them when the cave forked. When we heard two distinct screams, we turned back and traveled down the cave 'til we hit a dead end. They weren't there... Then we heard another scream--no a roar. I immediately took off. I didn't even think Max couldn't keep up. But he's gone to .""This is your fault!" Roared Robert at Winthrop."This is a tragedy! Would we want to marr the memory of Ronald and Geoffrey by pointing fingers?""Memory? Are you kidding me? We told you we aren't the only ones inhabiting this cave! I demand a new leader! You are done winthrop!"The next morning Robert was gone.
Soon there were no pretenses. Winthrop promoted Donald to Junior President, and the other congress members were demoted to mere citizens. Donald and Winthrop made all the executive decisions and did no work themselves. After a while, other animals joined, but were soon trapped under Winthrops rule. He had found 2 stray wolves and they were loyal to him as long as he gave them more of the food rations and let them hunt. Two more deer, Patrick and Xavier, and another mountain goat, Harry, had joined. Xavier proved to be extremely intelligent and was devastated to learn of the death of Ronald, who he had known. He promised he would avenge him. Soon.
One day as Patrick came back to the camp, he found it silent. Only a slight screaming echoing from the caves. Then May emerged. "Xavier kept his...his promise," she panted,"he just started attacking one of the gaurd wolves and soon a fight broke...broke out. We somehow ended up fighting in the...the cave. Then something--ROOAARR!!" She was interrupted as all the animals finally came out sprinting followed by what looked like a polar bear, but much faster. It paused, then instantly ambushed them and many animals were taken down. They all started running until only 3 remained at the remains of the main house. May, Patrick, and Xavier. The rest were no where to be found. "We will never speak of this again." Said Xavier solemnly. And they never did. One day they went back to the camp to investigate the wreckage and the whole camp was destroyed. Only blood stains and the lifeless remains of the animals... except for Winthrop's and Donald's. "You don't think they knew about this?" said May after Patrick made the observation. "No, they wouldn't do that right?" said Patrick. "Well I know they wanted power, and all of us dead would do no good to them. Right?"
"Wrong." said a familiar voice in the trees. Winthrop,"I knew I would never have complete control over you all, so I took you to this cave of legend. This is actually my second attempt at control. But my utopia cannot exist. I can never control those who can think for themselves. It's over."
Then the same white bear came out and they were all killed on the spot within seconds.... The End.

Describe the start of your story.
The story starts out with the animals still celebrating their victory over the evil rancher, Harrold. After the initial euphoria,
the realize they have to set up some kind of order and government. The animals unanimously decide to create a democracy.
  • Introduce your characters:
  • Owls: Donald and Winthrop
  • Prairie Dogs: Meriwether, Albus, and Leonard
  • Mule Deer: May (doe), and Geoffrey (buck)
  • Moose: Robert
  • Bear: Max
  • Mountain Goats: Ronald
  • Ex-Tyrant: Harrold
  • Mysterious Creature in the Caves
  • What do they want?
  • The animals are recovering from overthrowing of the evil rancher, Harrold, who shot and killed many of the animals and their comrades which drove them to such anger and fear that they drove Harrold and his family off the property. At the beginning of the story, they are trying to from some kind of democracy in which the owls have shown much interest in becoming the leaders. The other animals do not like the idea of the owls being their leader. Although they helped form the rebellion, they were no where to be found during the fighting. The other animals would prefer one of the Goats become their leader as they are strong willed, tough, and intelligent or at least by animal standards they are. The owls seem to have an alternative motive.
  • Where are they going?
  • They animals managed to go through and destroy most of the main house. Then they move further and deeper into the property until they are on the edge of the thick and untamed timber. They found a large system of caves where they have set up their home.
What happens in the middle of your story?
Toward the middle of the story, you start to see that some of the animals have their own agendas and soon two main classes break out.
  • How will all your story and characters develop?
  • In the beginning, the characters have one perspective on their lives and the other animals. As time goes on their personalities change and things become more hostile.
  • Plot Twists and Turns?
  • Some of the animals will form alliances and the animals eventually divide into two main groups.
  • How will you lead up to the climax?
  • I will develop tension between the different animals that one day snaps.
Outline the climax...How does the story end?
The story ends with one group overcoming the other, but in the process all is lost.
  • Is your ending what your readers are expecting?
  • I think the readers may see my ending coming, but only once they get through the majority of the book.
  • Have you used foreshadowing throughout your story?
  • I will vaguely foreshadow throughout my story to keep the reader interested and yet wondering.

Ronald stared over the wreckage of the once grand house. Splinters of wood debris were scattered all around the house. Smoke was spiraling up from the southern part of the house which once housed the kitchen. He heard footsteps behind him. "Come on Ron. We have work to do."