This is where I will write my story

Mini Saga

Lucy was dreading swimming today. She didnt want to do a 300 freestyle. She walked into the room with the pool. Everyone was gathered in a circle. "What's going on?" Lucy asked. "We're having a meeting" responded coach Ellie. Coach Ray said "From now on nothing will be the same."


Describe the start of your story.
The Speed Swim Team decides that they want
everyone to be equally good at swimming.
  • Introduce your characters:
  • Coach Ray, Coach Jessie, Coach Marley, Coach Ashley,
  • What do they want?
  • Coach Ray: to be in charge
  • Coach Marley: somewhat like Ray
  • Coach Ellie: the pursuader
  • Coach Cassie: the police
  • Where are they going?
  • At first, everything is fine
What happens in the middle of your story?
  • How will all your story and characters develop?
  • Ray: becomes ruler
  • Marley: gets fired
  • Ellie: makes everyone do what Ray wants
  • Cassie: enforces rules
  • Plot Twists and Turns?
  • Marley gets fired, all who question Ray are forced to swim a lot more
  • How will this lead to climax?
  • Swimmers tell parents, coaches get fired
Outline the climax...How does the story end?
  • Is what your readers are expecting?
  • Not really
  • Have you used foreshadowing throughout your story?
  • sort of

Swim WarsByPaige K. Petersen
They had to swim hard...
She hated swimming...

Monday, Lucy sighed. She was NOT looking forward to going to swimming tonight. Last week, Lucy joined the Speed Swim Team. It was actually quite fun, if you like to swim laps an hour a day three days a week. To make matters worse, Lucy didn't have the most important thing: speed.

Lucy's mom pulled the car into the high school's parking lot and parked in front of the large door and smiled at Lucy, "Have a good day," she said, "Swim fast."

"Bye mom." was Lucy's only reply as she stepped out of the car.

Her mother waved as it pulled away. Lucy stopped and looked at the enormous building, and worried that she would never come out. Finally, she picked up enough courage to walk inside. The long hallway seemed to stretch on for miles, though it only took seconds to get to the girl's locker room. She paused in front of the mirror and stared at her reflection. Light brown hair, hazel eyes, a zit here and there, it wasn't beautiful or unpleasant. After she got dressed and went to the pool area, Lucy was surprised to see that all of the swimming groups, along with the coaches, were gathered in a large circle.

"What's going on?" Lucy asked the bronze coach, coach Ellie.

"We're having a meeting," Responded coach Ellie in her sweet-as-honey voice, like her voice, her hair was the color of honey. Everyone liked coach Ellie, whenever she smiled, she looked so trustworthy, like you could tell her anything.

Coach Ray, the head coach (mostly of the gold team), stepped forward. Lucy could see the lights reflecting off of his bald head, he also had small, dark eyes and he sometimes wore glasses. He stood up tall and said: "Marley, Ellie, and I have been thinking of a plan for a while. If we commit to this plan, we will be able to swim faster and longer than any one else!" At this, all of the swimmers cheered. Ray continued, "We have decided to make everyone equal! The coaches and the swimmers will all be one level: GOLD!"

The smiles on everyone's faces started to melt off and confusion replaced them.

Every one the same? But I'm the slowest of the slow, there's no way I could be as fast as some of the older kids. Lucy thought. Are the coaches going crazy? Still, the idea of everyone being faster swimmers does sound nice.

Mean while, Ray was still giving the lecture. Every few minutes, he would place his hand on his shiny bald head, as if he was checking to see if he was growing any hair. Which wasn’t likely because coach Marley says that he has been bald for about ten years.

"If any one disagrees, let them come forward." he concluded. No one dared to, they never were allowed to state their opinion before. So Ray waited for a moment then said, "Alright, lets get swimming!"

Water was splashed everywhere as everyone jumped in. They waited to see what they had to do, but nothing happened everyone just floated there for several minutes. Finally, Jane spoke up, "What are we supposed to do?"

Coach Marley giggled, she had brunet hair and a kind face, then she said said "Whatever you want of course!"

Everyone gave each other uncertain looks, then pushed the wall in turns. Practice actually passed by quickly and Lucy was enjoying herself. She spent most of the time talking to Kaylee and Cordillia. Kaylee was tall and had crazy curly blond hair. Cordillia was shorter and had slightly wavy brown hair. Afterwords, Lucy left with a huge grin on her face. She stepped into her Mom's car.

"How was swimming?" she asked.

"Brilliant!" Lucy couldn't wait for Wednesday. In fact, the next two days went by quite smoothly and Lucy was already at the pool.

"You're here bright and early," said coach Ellie.

"I've been looking forward to swimming all day!" exclaimed Lucy.

Once again, everybody was gathered in a large circle, ready to hear what was going to happen that day. Coach Ray was speaking again. "Today," he said, "We will take out the lane lines! Now, we can all swim together and swim equally."

"No!" coach Marley objected, "The swimmers may swim with whoever they like, but they must be in separate lanes. Otherwise, there will be too much confusion!"

Suddenly, Coach Ray snapped his fingers and a figure in black came out and grabbed Coach Marley's wrists. "This is your new coach," Said Coach Ray. Everybody could now see who the mysterious person. It was a teenager who wore tons of makeup and had hair died black. Coach Ray continued, "Her name is Coach Cassie." The Coach Cassie smiled and everybody saw that she had teeth filed to a point. "You're fired." Said Ray. Coach Cassie pulled a stunned Marley out of the room, she didn't even have a chance to complain.

Coach Ray just stood there, with a smug smile on his face. Then a boy on silver team, David asked, "Coach Ray, but I thought every one, even the coaches were equal."

This time, it was Coach Ellie who answered, "Oh silly David, don't you know: All coaches are equal, but some are more equal than others."

So the weeks passed, and going to practice was less and less enjoyable. Coach Ray tried the "no lane line" idea then decided against it. Like Marley predicted, it was total chaos, everyone was bumping into everyone else. When people asked why Coach Ray changed his mind, Coach Ellie would just say, "Coach Ray is always right." Soon, no spectators were allowed to watch practices because they "distract the swimmers". Along with this, the swimmers had sworn an oath of secret, promising that they would never tell anyone what was going on at practice. Then, practice took place every day instead of every other day. Whenever there was a swim meet, the Speed Swim Team would always lose, and it was rumored that Marley was the reason for their defeat. At the beginning, the old gold swimmers were having trouble going as slow as everyone else, and they were frequently told to slow down, now, the gold team swimmers were appointed to be apprentice coaches. Coach Ray wasn't seen much anymore and it was said that he spent his time in the high school's teacher's lounge, eating chips and watching talk shows on TV.

Probably the worst thing that happened was whenever the swimmers didn’t do what Coach Ray of Coach Ellie wanted, they would be sent to work with the dreaded Coach Cassie. She would then torture them by making them do long, hard drills. At the moment, she seemed to favor an 800 freestyle (Which for those who don’t know is basically swimming the length of a regular size pool 32 times. Along with that, butterfly is the most tiring stroke.)

Lucy was getting fed up. The slower she was, the more laps she had to swim, which added up to be a lot of laps. She could stand it no longer. She decided to tell the most important person in her life: Mom. Once she had told her mother, Lucy felt as though a rock had been lifted off of her shoulders.

Her mother was outraged. "Are you telling me that I'm paying seventy dollars a month, just so you can be abused?!" Then she called somebody, then they called somebody and somehow, Coach Ray, Coach Ellie, and Coach Cassie were fired. Everything got sorted out and returned back to how it should be. Lucy couldn't wait for the day after tomorrow.


Lucy stepped out of the car and waved goodbye to her mom. She then caught up with Kaylee, got dressed and stepped into the pool area. The team was gathered for their weekly meeting. Lucy and Kaylee sat next to Cordillia and waited for the meeting to begin. The new gold team coach, Coach Molly began, "The other coaches and I have an amazing idea to tell you."

Lucy felt her insides go cold, she had once thought that everything would go back to normal again. Apparantly, she thought wrong...

The End